It's difficult to be a yente when work explodes all over your social life. I haven't had much time to peruse the internet in search of nice gentlemen. Such a bad yente I am! However, a nice gentleman friend of mine (and fellow yid!) pointed me towards a potential resource: www.npluspersonals.com
A brief scan reveals that it is EXCESSIVELY nerdy, which means it's a wonderful fit for Lady #1. It's an off-shoot of the magazine n+1, which is all about politics, literature, and culture (from a super nerdy perspective). It's rather NYC-focused, but the optimist in me thinks that means the potential Boston dating pool is that much smaller. Looking forward to submitting something (or encouraging Lady #1 to) as soon as the work hell dies down.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
The quest continues...
So where, exactly, can I find good men?
I realize that this question has been plaguing single straight women for decades (centuries? millennia?), but somehow I feel entitled to ask it yet again. Seriously, where are they? And how on earth do I reach them in my yente state?
Using dating websites like Match and OKCupid probably won't work, since there isn't a way for me to post what I'm doing without kind of posing as a lady looking for a man. Which I'm not. I'm a dyke looking for a gentleman... to date my friends.
I realize that this question has been plaguing single straight women for decades (centuries? millennia?), but somehow I feel entitled to ask it yet again. Seriously, where are they? And how on earth do I reach them in my yente state?
Using dating websites like Match and OKCupid probably won't work, since there isn't a way for me to post what I'm doing without kind of posing as a lady looking for a man. Which I'm not. I'm a dyke looking for a gentleman... to date my friends.
Monday, November 14, 2011
This is going to be harder than I thought.
When I initially put the first post up, I was so excited-- we had 3 responses within 30 minutes! And a couple of the guys even sounded decent! But then Craigslist drama ensued...
The first post went up.
It got flagged.
I found out that flagging happens for one of two reasons: Either you're violating CL policy, or you're violating some unspoken CL community rule. Turns out, there is an unspoken rule that you don't post for your friends in the personals section. So I reposted in miscellaneous romance.
That got flagged, too.
Finally, I went for strictly platonic. Being Craigslist, of course, it isn't strictly platonic at all. But it tends to be less... sketchy.
Now the responses to the ad have stopped entirely. I sent one potential candidate on to Lady #2. We'll see how that goes.
But holy mackerel, Craigslist is so sketchy. And by sketchy I really mean, 100% focused on men getting laid. The last time I used Craigslist was when I was single and looking to date another woman, and wow, women are much less overt about their interest in getting laid. It's there, of course, but we're more willing to cushion it with things like dates and getting to know each other. The men of craigslist, on the other hand, are mostly just lazy and horny:
looking 4 someone REAL!!! (35, Boston)
i'm a nice guy just got out of a long term relationship, looking for someone REAL to get some drinks and hang out, maybe more. if you're game, send an email with the word real in the subj line so i know your not a bot or spam.
This is not a real ad, but it is representative of many. Guys just put up short, lazy things like this, hoping that something will come through. Why someone looking for a serious person and a longer-term relationship would email a guy who can't even write three sentences about himself and put up a picture, I don't know.
The first post went up.
It got flagged.
I found out that flagging happens for one of two reasons: Either you're violating CL policy, or you're violating some unspoken CL community rule. Turns out, there is an unspoken rule that you don't post for your friends in the personals section. So I reposted in miscellaneous romance.
That got flagged, too.
Finally, I went for strictly platonic. Being Craigslist, of course, it isn't strictly platonic at all. But it tends to be less... sketchy.
Now the responses to the ad have stopped entirely. I sent one potential candidate on to Lady #2. We'll see how that goes.
But holy mackerel, Craigslist is so sketchy. And by sketchy I really mean, 100% focused on men getting laid. The last time I used Craigslist was when I was single and looking to date another woman, and wow, women are much less overt about their interest in getting laid. It's there, of course, but we're more willing to cushion it with things like dates and getting to know each other. The men of craigslist, on the other hand, are mostly just lazy and horny:
looking 4 someone REAL!!! (35, Boston)
i'm a nice guy just got out of a long term relationship, looking for someone REAL to get some drinks and hang out, maybe more. if you're game, send an email with the word real in the subj line so i know your not a bot or spam.
This is not a real ad, but it is representative of many. Guys just put up short, lazy things like this, hoping that something will come through. Why someone looking for a serious person and a longer-term relationship would email a guy who can't even write three sentences about himself and put up a picture, I don't know.
Friday, November 11, 2011
the original post
Okay so here's the deal: I am a queer lady happily in a long-term monogamous relationship. BUT: I am also Jewish, and when I see excellent people who are single, it's a calling. So here I am, screening potentials for my good friends. (With their permission and blessing.)
Here are your options: Two completely different women. Both fantastic.
Lady #1:
30 years old. Librarian by day, lover of nerd rap and latin translations by night. She enjoys delicious food, intellectual conversation, and witty banter. Particular about her cocktails, she's the kind of lady who appreciates a trip to a museum or seeing a movie and then dissecting it over dinner.
For her I recommend: A nerdy gentleman. An excellent conversationalist, he could stay up all night analyzing film noir or just discussing the merits of an excellent beer. Dapper and smart.
Lady #2:
29 years old. Low key awesome, she has a secret feisty streak a mile wide. Her laugh is infectious, and she's game for anything. Flash dinner mob? Absolutely. Wander around an arboretum? Sounds lovely. Really, she's the kind of woman that you want on a desert island; whenever you need it most, she'll whip out a snarky comment or a much needed corkscrew.
For her I recommend: A laid back dude who's funny, extroverted, easy going, and kind. He can talk Jersey Shore in one minute and History Channel in the next. Equally likely to spend a Saturday working on some crazy new project or just appreciating the view outside his window. Not a vegan.
If one of these ladies is your style, please email i.am.a.yente@gmail.com with a few details about yourself and a proposed date idea. I will vet all proposals and pass on prospective suitors. Only the best for my friends, though, so be awesome.
Here are your options: Two completely different women. Both fantastic.
Lady #1:
30 years old. Librarian by day, lover of nerd rap and latin translations by night. She enjoys delicious food, intellectual conversation, and witty banter. Particular about her cocktails, she's the kind of lady who appreciates a trip to a museum or seeing a movie and then dissecting it over dinner.
For her I recommend: A nerdy gentleman. An excellent conversationalist, he could stay up all night analyzing film noir or just discussing the merits of an excellent beer. Dapper and smart.
Lady #2:
29 years old. Low key awesome, she has a secret feisty streak a mile wide. Her laugh is infectious, and she's game for anything. Flash dinner mob? Absolutely. Wander around an arboretum? Sounds lovely. Really, she's the kind of woman that you want on a desert island; whenever you need it most, she'll whip out a snarky comment or a much needed corkscrew.
For her I recommend: A laid back dude who's funny, extroverted, easy going, and kind. He can talk Jersey Shore in one minute and History Channel in the next. Equally likely to spend a Saturday working on some crazy new project or just appreciating the view outside his window. Not a vegan.
If one of these ladies is your style, please email i.am.a.yente@gmail.com with a few details about yourself and a proposed date idea. I will vet all proposals and pass on prospective suitors. Only the best for my friends, though, so be awesome.
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